When I was running the other night, especially when I was running in the rain, I started thinking about what I might be good at. I started thinking about that because I have decided I have to do something about it. The run wasn't long enough to come up with more than one thing. (Third point of underachieving - Self-deprication.) Honestly, though, I think there is only one thing.
I've always been told I write well. Since writing is something I love to do, it feels good to be encouraged. Still, I guess a large part of me always thought people just said that because I wasn't good at much else. I'm not saying I'm stupid. I know I'm not. I'm just saying, I was never good at sport or music or whatever else kids are naturally gifted at. But I do love words, and could quite happily sit up late every night and write. Because of that, I have always thought that people have encouraged my writing because they know I like doing it. Not because I am a particularly good writer. There's no harm in that, though. Everyone should be encouraged to pursue what they love.
So, while I was running, I decided that it doesn't matter if I really am good or not. What matters is that I love it. And since I love it, I have to do something with it. Then I started thinking about Richard Yates.
The last 3 and a half books I have read have been by Richard Yates. I started with 'Revolutionary Road', then 'The Easter Parade', then 'Distubing the Peace', and now a book of short stories called 'Eleven Kinds of Lonliness' (I am reading Murakami between these stories so I can string it out for as long as possible.) I find his writing awe-inspiring, and his studies of people as imperfect and fallible and vulnerable and ordinary and fractured turn me inside-out with envy. Love love love him as a writer.
Naturally, I wish I had his gift. Where did he find his words? How did he manage to silence all of those distractions around him to commit to writing as he did? Where did he sit and how did he prepare in order to get the best out of himself? Could I do those things? I don't know. (Fourth point of underachieving - See others as limitless and one's self as limited.)
I so enjoyed thinking about Richard Yates and how he had all the right words. I'm going to run tomorrow, too, so I can think about it some more.
I've always been told I write well. Since writing is something I love to do, it feels good to be encouraged. Still, I guess a large part of me always thought people just said that because I wasn't good at much else. I'm not saying I'm stupid. I know I'm not. I'm just saying, I was never good at sport or music or whatever else kids are naturally gifted at. But I do love words, and could quite happily sit up late every night and write. Because of that, I have always thought that people have encouraged my writing because they know I like doing it. Not because I am a particularly good writer. There's no harm in that, though. Everyone should be encouraged to pursue what they love.
So, while I was running, I decided that it doesn't matter if I really am good or not. What matters is that I love it. And since I love it, I have to do something with it. Then I started thinking about Richard Yates.
The last 3 and a half books I have read have been by Richard Yates. I started with 'Revolutionary Road', then 'The Easter Parade', then 'Distubing the Peace', and now a book of short stories called 'Eleven Kinds of Lonliness' (I am reading Murakami between these stories so I can string it out for as long as possible.) I find his writing awe-inspiring, and his studies of people as imperfect and fallible and vulnerable and ordinary and fractured turn me inside-out with envy. Love love love him as a writer.
Naturally, I wish I had his gift. Where did he find his words? How did he manage to silence all of those distractions around him to commit to writing as he did? Where did he sit and how did he prepare in order to get the best out of himself? Could I do those things? I don't know. (Fourth point of underachieving - See others as limitless and one's self as limited.)
I so enjoyed thinking about Richard Yates and how he had all the right words. I'm going to run tomorrow, too, so I can think about it some more.
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